BODY IMAGE

Hello, blog! Happy three weeks of blogging! WOOOOHOOOO!!!

BODY IMAGE
This is going to be a very honest and vulnerable conversation having to do with body image, so maybe don’t read if you don’t want to.

This is a topic I want to talk about but don’t know how to approach, so I’ll begin with what sparked me to write about this in the first place. Today, I was shopping for clothes to wear because I’ve been wearing the same jacket I got from Tita Michelle and these Uniqlo jeans I got the first day here. I walked to this place in Shinsaibashi called “Wego” (or something of that nature) that sold cute and emo clothes. I noticed the display mannequinns looked so cool, so I just decided to copy what they were wearing. Though, In the fitting room, the clothes sat awkwardly on my body and only acentuated my insecurities. The slim shirt formed chubby sections in my stomach that protruded from the fabric. The medium sized skirt that I barely fit into made me notice how big my butt looks. The bareness of my legs showed how fat my thighs were. It was a body dysmporphia nightmare. That’s when I had the thought, “oh, these clothes only looked good because it was on a mannequinn with slim thighs, small waist, long torso, etc. Things I don’t have.”

I bought the clothes anyway and came up with a plan. I’m going to lose fat to look more like the mannequinn so I can look good in these clothes too. I took pictures of my current body, put “buy a scale” on my to-do list, watched videos on how to lose body fat.

I’m not gonna say what I’m doing is right or wrong, but I think it’s interesting how I feel guilty for wanting to look differently even though I’m conditioned to believe this is how my body should look. It’s all over social media. It’s in the streets of Osaka. It’s how the mannequinns look. No wonder I want to look like them. I just want to fit in. The difficult part as a young woman is finding the line between doing something for your confidence/health and doing something that displays symptoms of a eating/mental disorder.

If you are under the age of 18, do not try to lose weight or restrict your calories.

Anyway, today’s topic was a strange way to celebrate three weeks. I am so proud of myself for making it this far. Generally, life is getting kinda tough now. I am not afraid though. I’m a brave soul. I’m super excited about tomorrow, I’m ready to rock it. じゃね！