THE ABSENT APPRENTICE

Hello again, MAYA’S MIND™! It’s another day. HOORAY!!!

Today, me and Tita Michelle generated a burner name (nickname given to you at burning man) for me: the absent apprentice. I don’t want to explain the context, but you can start calling me by that name from now on.

What I do want to explain is this view from my dorm:



S-s-s-so bb-b-b-eautiful.. (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)

Notice I did not flip the camera to show my room. It is so messy. Don't worry, Marie Kondo's coming this weekend.

SKEDUAL
Yesterday, I walked to school which takes about an hour. I’ve usually been walking there and back because it’s nice to walk around especially since I’ve been eating all of these Japanese sweets. Need to control my insulin, ya’ know?

I should explain my schedule:

1. Wake up at @ ~ 3:30 a.m.
2. Take a shower.
3. Eat.
4. Watch Skins + eat onigiri.
5. Work on something creative (such as this blog).
6. Start walking to school at ~ 11:30 p.m.
7. Get to school @ ~ 12:30 p.m.
8. Learn.
9. Leave school @ ~ 4:00 p.m.
10. Walk to AEON’s (grocery store), get food.
11. Eat + watch Skins.
12. Go to sleep @ ~ 7:00 p.m.

I love my family and all, but holy heck is it so much easier to follow a routine without them. They always distract me with fun things.


DIFFICULTIES OF ADAPTING
It has been so difficult to leave my room everytime I have to go to Japanese learning school. I look in the mirror and I think “gosh, I look like a friggin’ goober,” then I think I should change. I swap into new clothes. I still look like a silly cow. I think about changing into a new outfit, but I have no more clothes because they’re all dirty. I’m too scared to go to the laundry room.

It’s difficult to be in a homogenous country for sure. The stares, but also the social pressures that I feel since I’m alone. A part of me deeply wants to fit into the culture, but I can never because I am not culturally Japanese nor do I look it. *Sigh…* I guess I’ll be a beautiful midwestern blasian forever. *sigh…* I guess I’ll always be an intelligent and brave young woman *sigh…* *eating the most delicious sushi I’ve ever eaten.* WHYYYYYYYYYY OH GOD WHYYYYY!!!

Anyway, this feeling of wanting to fit in is quite strange to me. In school, I feel like I never had that desire. It was the opposite. I made it my goal not to fit in. If there was an option to, I’d exclude myself from school photos. I wouldn’t play with anyone during recess, even if they invited me to. I ate lunch alone. Playing battleship in PE (best gym game ever), I deliberately disobeyed my team’s alliance by knocking down all their pins. Now, I feel like I should straighten my hair and bleach my skin.

It makes sense why I feel this way though. Being alone is difficult. Being apart of a community is easier. That’s why I love the community of family. They’re fun folks to be around.


Anyway, this wasn’t a long post but this stuff has been on my mind for this past week. OH! It’s actually been a week since I got here! It feels like it’s been months. I’m excited to eat more food! さようなら！