HIKIKOMORI TRANSFORMATION

One more day left of golden week! I’m honestly ready to get back to school. I enjoyed being alone and staying in all week, but I value the camaraderie of suffering with other people. It’s nice.

MY HIKIKOMORI TRANSFORMATION
(A hikikomori is a Japanese term for young adults who stay secluded to society for months/years)

I can sense a bad seed growing within me named agoraphobia. It’s a lot harder to leave my dorm because I’m afraid. I’m afraid of the stares. I’m afraid of people seeing my body. I’m afraid I’ll spend so much money. Being alone in a homogenous country like Japan makes this 10x more difficult because every time I go out, I always feel like I have to perform to the greatest standard to prove my worth as a foreigner. Hence, It’s easier to walk at times or in areas with limited people. I’d like to walk around in the early morning, though my obstacle at the moment is my clothing. It's really hot in Japan now. I think I have like two pairs of shirts viable for this weather.

FAMILYSICK
I’m feeling semi-homesick now. Not particularly of the place, but my family. I really want to hang out with them. I want to play video games with them. I want to joke around with them. I JUST WANT TO SEE MY FAMILY AGAIN . I feel like I haven’t had free times of silly vibes in Osaka, which may be what my family provided so abundantly that I took for granted. Free times of silly vibes is just when we all are joshing around with each other and not really caring about what we’re gonna do next. Gosh, I love hangin’ with those suckas…

When I get back, I want to record me and my cousins playing horror games again. Over the summer last year, we played many-a-games of the horror genre and it was so fun for me, so I want to do it again! I also want to buy so many food and snack items so we can all taste test them upon my arrival! I’m so excited!!! Though, I do have to begin figuring out my longer term plan… maybe tomorrow.

I’ve decided that I’m gonna play games and record myself playing before I go to bed, so I’ll see you tomorrow? じゃね！