LOTS OF THOUGHTS
2026.05.19
Hello blog. Here’s image of myself because I thought I looked pretty:
Despite yesterday being the worse day of my life, I looked great. I had no hope for the future in this photo. That’s irony. Though, it doesn’t matter the way I look. Something that Osaka is teaching me is being a kind person gets you so much farther than looks. People care much more about you being a good person than hot and sexy. I try my best to be kind and I’ve been given so many meaningful gifts this way. Though, I need to work on being nice to myself…
I’M A SOCIAL MEDIA ADDICT
I am a social media addict. I know I am because every time I face anything stressful, my first instincts are to either go to Youtube or anything else that connects me to the interweb. As long as I have a phone or a computer available, I will go to it like iced tea on a hot summer Sunday. Using it as often as I do, I have less time to see the world, to eat tasty foods, and maybe most importantly, to create. I want to completely decimate my time on social media. Oh god, I’m crying again. WHY AM I ALWAYS CRYING??? Social media is a difficult addiction to break because it’s similar to a food addiction: we have to fall back to it. If I rid of my phone, how would I contact people or the police? How would I manage my banking in a foreign country or, my personal favorite, tap to pay? I need to have a connection to the internet whether or not I like it, but by having it means it’s easier to step in the mucky goo of social media. I need to make a plan. I need to —— omgg.. as I was typing that, I subconsciously went to Youtube. SEE WHAT I MEAN??? It’s at these moments I wish I had more screen time regulation as a child. I grew up on Youtube. It’s as if I began smoking at the age of six. I have to be more aware…
I was thinking that I want to climb more mountains. Maybe mountain climbing might be a way to break my addiction. Probably not.
FOOD! (+ reading minds!?!)
I want to begin eating dinner at a restaurant after school. I have only a month and a half until I go back, and I realized I don’t have as many food experiences as I wanted to by now. Today, I began with a humble bowl of 950円 ($5.97) ramen:
Even though I got the small sized bowl, it was packed with crunchy bean sprouts, juicy chashu (pork) that reminded me of pot roast, half of a garlic bulb, and chewy noodles coated with thick, umami broth. I loved this so much, but I didn’t end up finishing it because I had to choose my stomach over anything else, especially after yesterday’s milk debacle (I’ve been farting terribly since). I rate this food a 9.5/10!!! I deducted points because they do not clean their dishes well. I had to walk around for an hour after leaving since my stomach was as full as I am interested in the Telepathy Tapes. The Telepathy Tapes is about non-verbal and/or autistic people who can read minds. I’ve been listening since early morning, and I have to say, I am skeptical of the process they use to test these people's telepathy skills. Looking at Reddit, people claim that the paywalled videos convey a contrasting message compared to the podcast’s narration. Though, how do I know if these Redditors aren’t just deep web government agents attempting to divert the public eye away from the truth?
ONLINE CRUSH >w<
Maybe this is delving too far into my mind, but I couldn’t care right now. I have to write about this. Every time I go to Instagram and see this girl, I freak out:
She’s so talented and cool >~<… I can’t stop watching. This is surely not helping my addiction. later: I have a problem.. I’ve been watching her videos for like 15 minutes straight. I have to admit, I think I have an online crush. Actually, now that I think about it, I haven’t had a real-life crush since high school. I love the sensation of having a crush. I feel giddy and my heart feels light, but I’m also super sweaty. Sometimes, I wonder what it’s like to pursue your crush and be in a relationship with them. It must be fun… *sigh*… *sigh*… *lights up a cig, takes one big puff, (i don’t cough because I’m an experienced cig smoker)* WHY AM I SO ALONE??? *stomps on cig butt, then dies because SMOKING KILLS.*
Okay, I have to go now. Quick update of my colony in Oxygen Not Included: all of my residents are NOT suffocating. I’ve figured out that carbon dioxide is heavier than oxygen, so I dug out a basement-like area for the CO2 to flow. Next goal: creating a cafeteria because they’ve been eating dirt and lice for days and getting food poisoning. じゃね！