Takin’ a break

Dear blog.
I have to apologize to myself and my family for the distress I’ve caused. My mindset is a result of my actions and not-so-great logical thinking. I am taking a break from school this week because my health is truly dwindling as I had stated in yesterday’s post, and I need to take precautionary measures to not further lead myself into doom. I notice that I tend to get stressed out at the end of a phase/the beginning of change. I’m nearing the end of my Japanese venture. I’ve had fun, but I’m ready to move on. I don’t have much of a purpose of learning Japanese right now since I don’t have plans to come back. I feel as of I have consumed enough Japanese stuff…literally; I think I’ve eaten the most amount of food since… ever? Though, I am pretty proud of myself for always choosing something moderately safe for overconsumption such as vegetables, protein, or rice crackers. Good for me.

MATCHA!!!
Right now, I’m going to Kyoto to pick up some matcha for Jess. I had ordered the incorrect size, so that is sort of stressing me. I get really stressed over very minuscule things sometimes, such as this jean skirt I bought from Lee’s on Orange Street. I was thinking about returning it, but I like it because it allows me to wear fun tights.I want to wear more fun tights like Pandora from skins. Though, I notice I get quite insecure over my body when I wear anything revealing my legs. It shouldn’t matter. The fun tights should compensate for any negative emotions I feel for literally just showing my legs. Gosh, I hate how the internet has affected my perspective of an acceptable body type. It’s like… so annoying. Do not worry because this is why I am doing the positive affirmations naked in the mirror everyday. It helps.

I’M SORRY, WHOEVER/WHATEVER!
Blog, I think not-so-great things are happening because I lost this bracelet my auntie bought me. It was one of those all-seeing-eyes, the one with an eye surrounded by dark blue. I’m pretty certain that it’s cursing me for losing it. Please stop, bracelet. I feel terrible as is. Either the bracelet, or Kurt Cobain is slowly seeping into my soul bringing with him all the trauma and emotions from his own life. Please stop, Kurt. You are loved. I love you so please Stop it. If I seem like I’m spewing nonsense, it is because I am dying of heat exhaustion. It is probably like 120 degrees / 48 degrees Celsius here in the ‘Pan. I am so thirsty, hungry, and tired. It’s 6:00 p.m. and I have only eaten 5 pieces of chocolate. Hahaha. No wonder I’m frekinAHHHHHHHHHHH.n

Today in one of the matcha places, I spoke Japanese to these two very kind Japanese ladies and they told me that my pronunciation was beautiful. I told them I’ve been studying Japanese for 5 months and then she told me in her Japanese accent that I was “a genius!” it was so funny I loved those ladies. Then, they began poking at the plushies on my bag. lol. Japanese people are strange sometimes.

Okay, goodnight. I am gonna break from school so maybe tomorrow I’m going to climb a mountain or something IDK. I love mountain climbing, but actually a foreigner died in the Kyoto mountains last week so I’m a wee bit scared it might be haunted or something… I’ll figure it out later. Also, I got 10 gyoza from 551 Horai and two pork buns. It was really good and I’ve learned that I enjoy eating one meal a day. Maybe I’ll climb a mountain, then get another big meal from 551 Horai tomorrow… We’ll see…じゃね！